Author: Andrew Tillman

Epilogue

Posted on by Andrew Tillman

Japan is an incredible place to visit. It makes such a change to be somewhere without the same stores, selling the same things as everywhere else.

It’s a fascinating country, the Japanese people are delightful. They are extremely friendly, inquisitive, helpful and respectful to us, each other and nature. Everywhere is so clean, perhaps because it is frowned upon to eat in the street in most places.

We have really only scraped the surface by visiting the tourist areas to get a taste of Japan (the name of our tour package) so I can understand why people come back time and time again. If the tourist areas are so interesting and different, then, once you get off the tourist trail and go further afield it must be an extraordinary experience but one we might not be able to cope with due to the language barrier.

Pretty much everything went smoothly and according to plan so thanks to Jacquie of Bakewell Travel for organising everything so well. For the mobile Internet, without which I couldn’t have written this blog, for all the train and transport passes and for the event tickets. It would have been impossible to organise such a complicated trip in such a very foreign land ourselves.

Everyone who’s been to Japan had said the country runs like clockwork. It doesn’t, it’s better than that. It runs like an atomic clock. Absolutely everything, everywhere ran on time to the minute (and the bullet trains all eight of them, to the second). If a store has a sign saying ‘opens 10.00’, it opens at exactly 10.00 (with a friendly bow) and we didn’t have one single delay, hitch or disappointment in the entire two weeks.

…. Then we arrive at the airport – flight delayed due to late departure from London. 🤣🤣🤣. Our flight, just short of fifteen hours, arrived in London one hour and forty minutes late plus the plane ran out of water for the last few hours ‘due to the long flight’. Has BA had never flown a plane back from Japan? Did it really not know how long it would take? Perhaps they do it on purpose to give us a reality check. 😩

We flew back the other way – east to west – over Alaska and the Artic circle, so we actually completed a circumnavigation!

As we disembarked I found myself bowing to the flight attendants! New habits…

I haven’t mentioned this before but one of the things we will miss about Japan are the sounds. Like everything else in Japan, they are aesthetically pleasing. When the lights change at a road crossing, instead of a harsh beeping to hurry you along, little birds chirp to invite you to cross, sometimes it’s a cuckoo*

Each train station has its own jingle that sounds like fairground organ music. We can only think that perhaps it’s for people with impaired vision so they know which station they have arrived in?

When you’re on a train, prior to each announcement a xylophone will play the first five notes of ‘I’m sticking with by you’ by the Velvet Underground. At least that’s what it sounds like to me, which explains why it’s become my constant earworm.

Even airport trolleys do away with irritating beeping to warn you of their presence..,

…and replace it with irritating video gaming music. 😀

*The Japanese would NEVER cross a road unless the green man is showing. They will wait and wait and wait, even if the road is only two metres wide and you can see for miles that there is nothing coming, they still wait.

Second hand shops-

We were wondering why there were so many second-hand shops in Osaka selling what looked like brand new, very high-quality goods. Usually ladies goods, like handbags, dresses and watches. We’re talking Hermes handbags, Piaget watches, Versace dresses for example.

It turns out that there is a certain type of lady who befriends wealthy gentlemen and, shall we say, ‘entertains’ them. It also turns out that it is not the done thing to accept money for providing this ‘entertainment’ so they ask their gentlemen friends for ‘gifts’.

The gentleman buys them something expensive to express their appreciation, and the lady immediately legs it, as fast as her restrictive kimono will let her, down to the second hand shop, sells it for cash and presumably goes out and buys herself a slap-up fish and chip supper, with all the trimmings, to celebrate.

Hence all the second-hand shops.

We’re really happy we saw Fuji-san as it’s respectfully called. They also call it the shy mountain as it so often hides behind the clouds. We were told we would see it yesterday from the train but it was hidden in the mist, so we were really lucky to see it when we visited Hakone.

As you may have gathered, we weren’t especially keen on the traditional Japanese breakfasts, but that’s purely because it could not be more different from what we are accustomed to. We have, however, discovered a whole different world of flavours and food textures that we have never experienced in Europe. Some, such as umenoshi (pickled plums), that turned our faces inside out, but many of which were really enjoyable.

The other thing we won’t miss is the Tokyo subway system. It highlights just how good the London underground system and its map are.

I don’t know how Brigitte will cope with being back. She has had no wine for over two weeks! That is surely a record for her and all because of sake. Such an interesting drink and probably as complex as wine to get to grips with and understand.

In Europe you just order ‘sake’ and drink what you’re given. The word ‘Sake’ actually just means alcohol. There are so many variations that we (I) just had no idea about. I’m sure I’ll bore some of you about it when we’re back but one interesting fact that we both agreed on is that that, unlike wine, we didn’t find a single sake we didn’t like (and we probably tasted over 25 varieties) They all tasted good in their own way, whereas often you’ll try a wine that you don’t personally like. I have no idea why this should be but I have a theory about acidity.

Regrets

The Japanese love vending machines, you can get almost anything from a vending machine. Especially in Tokyo where you can put money in a vending machine and out pop meals, umbrellas, ice-cream, cake, there’s even a car vending machine – yes, really.

But the one I never saw, although I know it does exist, my holy grail of vending machines, was the one that dispenses – bananas. It was a bitter disappointment to nit have found it. 😂

And finally….Toilet talk

I couldn’t end the blog without talking toilets. For me, this is the game changer. I know they’ve been around for years and we do have a few around the place and people coming back from Japan talk about them but why aren’t they shouting from the rooftops??

And why is it only the Japanese that have them everywhere? (or are they?) and why did they invent them? (or did they?). Do they have particularly dirty derrières or are they just a particularly clean race in the botty department?

All know is that they are amazing, my bottom has never felt so clean and refreshed – I’m going to become a Japanese toilet ambassador and lobby Parliament to have them installed in all public buildings. It’s the future!

So that’s it, our Japanese adventure, like all good things has come to an end. we’ll miss everything about Japan except the breakfast and we both feel like we now need a long holiday to recover!

…and if you’ve made it all the way to the end of our journey with us… Arigatō, mata ne.

Day 14 – Tokyo

Posted on by Andrew Tillman

Our last day in Japan started early with an 8am train to Nagoya to catch the Tokyo bullet train.

This had the welcome benefit of us being able to cancel breakfast – Hurrah!

Fresh Dave put up a fight and offered to make it early for us but we politely told her we didn’t want to bother her so early. She seemed insistent but we stood firm and our avoidance tactics worked.

We had to buy another holdall yesterday to transport our excess shopping. The idea was to travel light as we sent our cases ahead to Tokyo, but we have ended up with same number of pieces of luggage and we still have to collect our original set in Tokyo. 😩

It was pouring down last week when we left Tokyo, it was pouring down when we arrived. Rainy, grey, miserable. A bit like Manchester only with smaller cars.

Today we had our first Bento box! Bento boxes are what keeps Japan running smoothly. They are really nice boxes of good quality food, freshly made in factories across Japan and distributed every day. People buy them for their lunch at work or when they’re commuting.

This is ours….

…crispy chicken with rice and vegetables in a nice wooden box – about a fiver)

We actually thought that prices here were very reasonable in general. There are so many places selling food that it has to be good quality and competitive so it’s really good value. We ate out at some nice restaurants that were expensive but, to be honest, we couldn’t justify the cost and you can eat very well here quite reasonably – as long as you know what your eating.

We decided to leave our new luggage at Tokyo train station (we now have luggage all over Tokyo!) but, due to the flippin’ G7 junket they had locked down all the lockers so no one can bomb Biden as he totters past on his zimmer frame. I really can’t believe the G7 leaders will be using the Tokyo subway.

Instead we had to entrust all our worldly goods to a stranger in a blue hat who charged us three times more than the locker to look after our stuff.

Therés lots of trust needed in Japan but we’ve experienced no problems yet.

We arrived at the Ryogoku Kokugikan arena, home of Sumo wrestling in Tokyo.

It’s quite an impressive building for a bit of wrestling.

Sumo wrestling, like so many things in Japan is an odd sport and is 90% tradition and ceremony and 10% actual sport.

Here is the initial parade ceremony. It lasts around 10 minutes in total, this is the end.

The individual contestants then enter the ring after having their names sung by the ringmaster.

Here’s an individual wrestler’s ceremony. As you can hear, the crowd loved it.

They strut about, throw salt into the ring (which is sacred ground) to purify it. Then there’s much bowing, some flag bearers walk around the ring, then they bow again.

Then they receive power water and power paper to wash their mouths and lips, then more salt throwing. Then they bow some more, stomp with their legs to ward off evil spirits. After this, a bit more bowing, leg extensions and arm raising to show they have no weapons. Then, just as you think they are going to fight, they stand up and do it all again.

They can repeat this many times for no apparent reason, although the more high ranking they are, the more times they do it.

Finally they launch themselves at each other and the wrestler who touches the floor with any part of his body other than his feet, or steps out of the circle, it’s the loser.

This part – the actual fight- takes, on average, fifteen seconds.! You might notice that, at the end the referee presents an envelope to the winner on his fan. That’s the prize money.

Then more bowing.

Then one of them picks up Brigitte and I haven’t seen her since!

And that’s it – our last day in Japan.

Maybe an epilogue tomorrow.

22.34 – 19th May – Royal Park Hotel – Tokyo.

Day 13 – Takayama

Posted on by Andrew Tillman

Fresh Dave’s helpers came in bright and early to quickly and efficiently magic away the bed and create tables and chairs using traditional origami techniques.

As they left, Fresh Dave announced her arrival with breakfast.

Whereas original Dave was demure and softly spoken, Fresh Dave seems rather aggressive and shouty. I get quite nervous every time she speaks so I’m always on guard in case she draws her Katana. Think Kato from the Pink Panther films.

Not a clue what breakfast was, spotted something middle left that may have once been part of a trout. We could have all played ‘identify the food’ with a daily prize (win my actual breakfast!) – but unfortunately I thought of it too late😫.

I have a terrible admission to make. I just couldn’t face the breakfast, so rather than incur the wrath of Fresh Dave and appear an ungrateful westerner, I put most of it into a plastic bag and shoved it in Brigitte’s hold-all for later disposal. (Let’s hope we remember or it’s going to get smelly). Shame on me, I know, but it was one fishy breakfast too far.

In the old days the phrase “My people will speak to your people” was often used. Now it seems to be “My app will speak to your app”.

I have my translation app that I speak English into and the app repeats it back, only in Japanese. Then I press a button and the Japanese person speaks Japanese into my app and it repeats it to me in English. Occasionally its translations are even understandable.

However, many Japanese, especially in restaurants, have their own little translation devices so I speak into mine and they speak into theirs.

Sometimes we just put our devices on the bar together, side by side, and let them get on with the conversation while we get on with our lives.

We were met in the lobby by Hisa, our guide for the day.

I couldn’t imagine how we could spend eight hours walking around Takayama. Especially as it was over 30 degrees. There didn’t seem to be that much to see, but I was wrong.

There’s a morning market by the river every day so we started there.

This lady just bought a coffee in a handmade biscuit cup! It’s like reverse dunking only it doesn’t dissolve. What a great idea, drink your coffee from the biscuit cup and nibble as you drink, tasty and no washing up. I’ve seen the future!

It’s incredible how culturally diverse we are. We walked the market for 15 minutes but the only food I could recognise with any certainty was the bananas!

We visited Kusakabe Heritage House, which is a house dating back some three hundred years and is now a museum. Built by traditional craftsman, this also couldn’t be more different to European housing.

The ’comfy’ living areas always have tatami mats on the floors and this is where shoes are not allowed. Working areas such as kitchens have bare floors.

Interesting fact- Tatami mats are a standard size. 1.8m x 90cm. Nearly all houses, for hundreds of years, have been designed so that their rooms are a multiple of these dimensions so the mats can always be fitted without cutting them. Even today when you see houses for sale, the room dimensions are quoted in the number of tatami mats that can fit in.

There is virtually no insulation having single wood panel walls and they often don’t fit tightly together so light shines through the gaps. When you consider they regularly have over 2 meters of snow here you realise that they were either freezing cold, or much tougher than we are.

The house was owned by a very wealthy banking family and when the son was dating his future wife who lived in a village over 60 miles away, she used to visit in her carriage…

Carried by two strong men with that large timber beam on their shoulders!

We then visited the Floats Exhibition Museum. Takayama is also famous for its twice-yearly festival where each area wheels out it’s highly ornate shrine to parade through the streets. It’s spectacular by all accounts and 200,000 tourists arrive to witness it! This museum houses some of the shrines for those who can’t get to the festival to see them. They really are incredible huge works of art…

Over 300 years old, they are up to 5 meters tall, highly decorated and each tells a story of local folklore. The government now pays for their preservation and they are very valuable. One was recently partly restored at a cost of $2.8m.

This was followed by more shopping….

Brigitte, I know you want to buy everything but we really have no need for an eel-trap!!

Lunch (and breakfast) was delicious, Udon and Soba noodles with tempura.

Followed by another sake brewery tour at the Harada sake brewery. Yey! Did I mention we like sake?

All you can drink sake sampler – 450 yen (£3) – and you get to keep your ceramic sake cup.

As we came out, I started to run towards this shop before realising it wasn’t going anywhere….(look closely).

And then we went to visit the Hida Folk Village. It is a collection of around 30 houses, from the Edo period (1603-1868) restored and moved together in beautiful countryside to illustrate Japanese life from long ago.

Whilst exploring, we came across a perfectly preserved example of a late Edo period disco ball.

As we only have today and tomorrow left 😩 and we need to unwind the time difference a bit, we’re going for what they call here an early Hida beef supper. (Or maybe it’s just me that calls it that).

I may have mentioned this, but Wagyu is the collective name for Japan’s main cattle breeds and is synonymous with high-quality. It has different grades with A5 being the best and the quality is strictly controlled. Different areas have their own slightly different versions. The Kobe wagyu is the most famous because they marketed it well outside Japan. Hida is also very well-known and equally as good so, as we’re in Hida, that’s what we’re having tonight.

Fast forward two hours….

Dinner was delicious. I’ve said it before, but it’s difficult to express just how nice the beef is.

You cook it at the table yourself. (Yet the price is the same. I never figured that out). There seems to be so much fat that you’d think it would completely disintegrate..…

Et voila Delicioso!

Long journey back to Tokyo tomorrow where we have tickets for the Sumo wrestling!

Hakkiyoi!!

20:40 – 18th May – Ryokan Tanabe – Takayana

Day 12 – Takayama

Posted on by Andrew Tillman

A leisurely breakfast this morning, once we’d packed the overflow luggage made necessary by unexpected shopping in the Osaka region.

We then had a five-hour journey to our next destination, Takayama. One tube train, one bullet train to Nagoya, one normal train to Takayama and a taxi. We are staying at another tradition Ryoken for the next two days, where we have another opportunity to work on our crawling, eating and sleeping on the floor skills. Brigitte is really looking forward to it – not!

I have some work-trousers with integral kneepads at home. I wish I’d brought them.

We arrived mid afternoon and, well, you know the score by now. Bags dumped and off we go.

Takayama nestles in the Japanese alps and is 600 meters above sea level. It’s known for traditional crafts and sake. We like sake.

It’s a strange place. Firstly, we expected it to be cooler than everywhere else as it’s in the alps but it was 30 degrees. Not too bad for a leisurely walk as long as you keep to the shady side of the street, but unexpected.

Secondly we expected a picturesque alpine type village like the ones you find in the Swiss alps but, whoever came up with the term alpine first, neglected to standardise an architecture plan with the other (s).

I know ‘alpine’ just signifies a mountainous area but you get a picture in your head don’t you? We still have a lot to see (full-day tour tomorrow) but it’s not a beautiful town, although there are a few streets in the historic district that retain the original buildings from the Edo period and these are beautiful. This part is exactly how I imagined old Japan to be.

This is a very famous building in Japan…

It’s the headquarters of Japan’s main satellite tv broadcasting company !

After yet more shopping we went back to the Ryoken to rough up our knees.

It’s quite a similar deal to the last Ryoken we stayed at in Hakone except it has a public onsen (spa Bath) rather than a private one so I may give the male-only skinny dipping a miss.

I know some of you said you were missing Dave but fret not, we have ‘Fresh Dave’. She’s just as lovely and equally proficient at bowing.

Unfortunately it seems that we are back to unrecognisable food again.

As you can see, Google translate isn’t too helpful either.

Yes, the food is beautiful and beautifully served by Fresh Dave but we do struggle with some of it. I recognised the wagyu beef, the giant snail (why?) and the raw prawn’s head (why oh why?) but, after that, it got a little difficult. Raw fish, but not sure what, the usual miso soup which is delicious, two small balls in a bowl (animal or vegetable?) Also, they don’t tell you what order to eat the food in so we thought the hot sweet egg custard must be dessert but, when we started eating it, we discovered the seaweed and vegetables lurking below the surface.

If I didn’t know it was a reputable hotel I’d think they were just having a laugh. I can imagine the conversation:

Fresh Dave: “Boss, what can I give the westerners to eat tonight?”

Boss: Ooh, there were a few giant snails eating my vegetables in the greenhouse earlier, you could get rid of those for me , and I think there’s some raw prawn heads in the bin “

Fresh Dave: How shall I cook them boss?

Boss: Oh don’t bother, just shove ‘em on their plates, they’re westerners, they’ll think it’s sashimi. And make up a fancy name for the menu, they’ll like that. It’ll give ‘em something to blog about!

Fresh Dave : Great idea boss!

There’s no western breakfast option either😫 lets see we what turns up.

It turns out that Fresh Dave is more senior than original Dave was. Fresh Dave, although she serves the food, does not make the beds. She has two helpers who come to do that. They don’t wear Kimonos either, it’s far more industrial and not as charming. Fresh Dave just comes in at the end and takes all the credit like all good bosses. She doesn’t bow as frantically either. We miss original Dave😩.

Also, check out the duvets. Much better idea than ours in Europe. It’s the duvet that has the pattern and the cover is plain pwith a huge hole that makes it really easy to put on and take off for easy washing. OMG I’m discussing the merits of different sheets! when did I get that boring! – Careful!!

After ‘dinner’ we went out to what Google said was the best bar in town. It was closed, so we shall never know.

As we walked down a tiny street we heard strange music coming from behind a closed metal door with only Japanese writing on the wall next to it.

I had to see what was behind it, so I pulled it open and inside was a little bar with two Japanese men sat at it, one singing Karoke in Japanese!

Once he’d stopped singing he insisted on us drinking sake, only like tequila – with salt. Then he started singing again…

He was really good!

Then we started singing, then another song, then he introduced us to ‘sochu’, which is distilled sake quite shtrong shake, then it all got a bit blurry. And more shongs were shung.

Anyhow, I’m sure you’ll all want to see the video of us singing but, what happens in Japan, stays in Japan – we took an oath with our new friends..

Nite nite!

22:27 – 17th May 2023 – Ryokan Tanabe -Takayama

Day 11 – Yayoi Kusama – special post

Posted on by Andrew Tillman

You may know of Yayoi Kusami, the Japanese artist. Purely by coincidence we are going to see her exhibition in Manchester in a couple of months.

We were walking through Osaka and looked in the Louis Vuitton store windows and there she was! She is doing a collaboration with them and so she spends a few hours each day watering the plants for them.

No, not really, it is a Yayoi Kusami robot and it is incredibly lifelike. You wouldn’t imagine it wasn’t real. She looks at you, smiles, blinks, it’s quite freaky.

Watch the video, it was too big to post on the blog so just tap on the link below. It might take a minute to load but it’s worth it.

https://share.icloud.com/photos/003w81PKJewHpVMbr37d0MVYQ

The building itself was designed to look like a traditional cargo ship

More tomorrow..,,

Day 11 – Osaka

Posted on by Andrew Tillman

We planned to get up early this morning to go and see the tuna auction at the fish market.

I was having some blog technical issues last night so Brigitte had fallen asleep and luckily I googled the time of the tuna auction – it started at 4am, 😱

I therefore made a management decision and decided to secretly change the alarm clock for a lie-in. Good plan.

After a nice ‘western’ breakfast, we took the tube across town to the Osaka Aquarium which is quite spectacular. I could bore you with pictures and videos of whale sharks, hammerheads, sunfish, rays, penguins, seals etc etc but I’m sure you’ve seen them before so just one video for you.

Okay, I lied, I did decide to bore you!

I got lucky and saw this jellyfish as the light caught it perfectly. A minute later it swam away from the light and when Brigitte arrived at the tank she didn’t know why I was staring at a dull jellyfish – until she saw this video…

I swear I heard a lot of lip-smacking from the Japanese as they viewed the tanks. To them the sea is just a huge cold store and they visit the aquarium because it is food porn to them. Or that’s my thinking anyway.

It is an amazing place and I have no idea how they built such a huge sea aquarium six floors high.

The aquarium is constructed from acrylic glass panels up to 30cm thick.There are 103 of them weighing 314 tons in total, which is 1.5 times the worlds total output of acrylic glass!

After the fish, we rushed across town as I had had a timing accident and we had a river boat to catch.

We literally sprinted up escalators, across bridges and onto the boat with exactly one minute to spare. Phew.

We were then told we couldn’t board as we didn’t have tickets🤬 The confirmation email was entirely in Japanese so how was I supposed to know you had to collect them first?

Another sprint to the ticket office, a bit of queue jumping, a sprint back, and we were on the boat, sweaty and wet. 26 degrees today.

We shouldn’t have bothered as the cruise was extremely boring. The worst thing we have done in Japan. The only highlight was the guide’s terrible pronunciation. It took ten minutes before we noticed she was actually speaking English and we spent the rest of the cruise trying to work out what she was saying.

I know it may sound racist (and it probably is, sorry) but at one point she actually said. “ The eria around Ryan bridge was frudded in ninenteen firty-free. It is called Ryan bridge because it has a feece Ryan guarding each of its four corners”. Oh yes she did!!

If you’re ever in Osaka, give the river boat a miss, unless you like to see bridges from underneath and need a bad view of the castle.

Osaka is all about food and shopping. They are the two main pastime of the locals and you can tell by the hundreds upon hundreds of stores and restaurants.

In order to ensure uninterrupted shopping they constructing the longest shopping arcades in the world. This one is 4.5 Km long and another nearby is 5.3!

Kit kats here are a mystery to me. Invented by Rowntree in York, they are a huge hit in Japan and, since Nestlés takeover of Rowntree, they have become the top selling chocolate bar in Japan!

There have been more than 300 limited-edition seasonal and regional flavors produced, many exclusive to the country and not produced elsewhere. Go figure – it’s one of my favourites as well but I can only think of milk, plain and Orange and that’s it.

As it was our last night in Osaka we went out to a nice restaurant.

It was a tempura tasting menu and the only reason I’m telling you this is because the third course was fugu!! This is the puffer fish I mentioned yesterday that can only be served by a licensed chef because if it’s not prepared right and you eat the wrong part then you die.

Tempura FUGU!!!

We had our own chef, he seemed pleasant, it’s an hour since we ate. We are still alive.

If this is the last blog you receive then at least you’ll know what happened.

21:35 – 16th May – Cross hotel – Osaka

Day 10 – continued….

Posted on by Andrew Tillman

A double helping of blog today, which is several less than we had on our food tour which was incredible, both for the food bonanza and the crazy sights, more of those later but do watch the videos at the end!

Our guide for our food tour was Yann, a Frenchman who came to Japan for a week and has stayed 15 years so far!

What a great experience. The area we are in is called Dotinbori which is named after the canal it surrounds and it is full of hundreds and hundreds of small restaurants and stalls. These often only seat a few people, usually less that a dozen, but they don’t spend much time there before they move on to the next one.

It’s a bit like tapas but instead of having lots of small dishes in one place, you have many different courses at many different places.

We started with Mochi, which is a dessert consisting of fresh fruit coated in sweet sticky rice. The white strawberries are a Japanese delicacy.

The reason we bought these first was because they are all freshly made, in limited quantities, are very popular and when they are sold, she shuts the shop.

Our first course was at Genroku sushi. There’s lots of revolving sushi restaurants around the world now. The most well known is maybe Yo-sushi! They were actually invented here in Osaka and this place is one of the first, founded in 1950…

Lots of different raw fish to try including sea urchin and whale. You just pull what ever you want from the conveyor belt and eat it, or ask the chef to make you something if it’s not there. When you’re done they count up your plates, each colour is a different price category sushi. You pay and then off to the next restaurant…

Which was Kushi katsu – meaning ‘fried skewer’.

The two below are ‘shoshito’ which tastes like and may actually have been a padron pepper. and a chicken gizzard, just like my granny used to put in her chicken soup (pupic!). Look it up if you don’t know what it is. We ate this at a famous shoshito chain which has an effigy of its founder outside..(he’s the one in the middle!)

It was washed down with ‘Calpis‘, a popular children’s drink made with calcium, which is what the ’cal’ is….and I have no idea about the’pis’ 😱. They traditionally rarely had dairy here. Cows started coming in after the war from America so no calcium except from fish bones, which maybe explains the average Japanese person being smaller than westerners due to less calcium for bone development. They are now getting bigger. (and fatter as American fast food becomes more popular 😩)

Once they got the cows there was no stopping them though and, inventive as ever, they developed high quality (wagyu) beef of which Kobe is the most famous. They massage the cows and give them beer to drink. The beer produces fat to create the extreme marbling, the massaging keeps the muscles (meat) relaxed. No wonder they believe in reincarnation, they all want to come back as a Japanese cow 😀)

That’s what we had next

Next it was Yakitori, chicken on skewers cooked many different ways and ordered an the table…

Then out for macha ice cream

We decided against going in here for puffer fish also known as Fugu the most infamous sushi. It is poisonous and it has to be prepared by licensed chefs. If they get it wrong you die. Think of it as fish roulette!

Then, as we wandered this vibrant, colourful, noisy, crowded area…

we saw some unusual sights…a Japanese lady playing French accordion, rather well it has to be said….

…and, as for this… I really, really don’t know what to say, but it’s a good place to end the night as I write this and nibble my delicious mochi that we bought at the start of the evening. Mmm….

Night night

01:15 – 15th May 2024 – Cross hotel – Osaka

Day 10 – Osaka

Posted on by Andrew Tillman

After ten days I’m starting to get a really cricked neck which I can only attribute to all the bowing.

I have become a victim of JBS or Japanese Bowing Syndrome. I’m formally appealing to the Japanese authorities to set up nationwide centres and a fund to assist all western tourists, whose neck and back bowing muscles are not as highly developed as those of the Japanese to help ease the suffering. Please give generously.

A Japanese barber shop – they each have a vacuum cleaner attachment so as they cut, the hair gets sucked straight up the tube. No hair on the floors!

Every time I have ever travelled, and I’m lucky enough to say it’s been many times, I’ve always come home realising that you never use half of what you pack.

We both agreed on this and decided to test this theory for Japan. We both literally just packed one side of our suitcases.

It didn’t work-we could have halved it again and still had enough.

Having said that, Brigitte has three daughters, the same number of son-in-laws and six grandchildren and, despite my insistence that a pair of chopsticks each was a brilliant space-saving yet authentic gift, she didn’t take my advice. We may need to buy another suitcase today as ours have now reached bursting point.

Osaka is just a short fifteen-minute hop on the Shinkansen (bullet train). We were supposed to take our suitcases with us to Osaka today and then use the excellent Japanese luggage forwarding system to teleport it from there to Tokyo airport.

However, Brigitte has used all the available space rendering our suitcases useless, sonthere seemed no point schlepping them around with us. Therefore, we have sent them straight on to our Tokyo airport hotel where we will meet them in five days; just before we fly home. Hopefully.

I’m sure they will be there when we arrive, but I still find it difficult to trust public transport services. Maybe the UK’s delivery services are not a good benchmark to use.

Every hotel has toiletries and toothbrushes and most other necessities so we just stuffed a few day’s clothes into our rucksacks and set off. We are now officially back-packers!

True to form we went into the hotel, dumped out small bags (which had grown in number due to shopping whilst in transit) and went to explore.

Osaka has a great vibe. It seems young and vibrant, noisy and colourful. A different feel entirely to the more conservative and relaxed Kyoto.

Lunch of Gyozo (Japanese dumplings) was followed by a visit to Osaka castle.

The Japanese, like many other peoples who live in typhoon, tsunami and earthquake zones have traditionally constructed their buildings out of wood.

I can only assume that, for the rich building castles, it’s a resources issue – ie no local stone – and for the poor, a cost issue. Otherwise it’s a very shortsighted decision. If you cook by fire or light by flame, then at some point something will cause your building to burn down.

It has resulted in many older buildings having been destroyed and, what early wars or natural disasters didn’t demolish, the Americans incendiary bombed in WW2.

Consequently, nearly all of the historic castles, temples and shrines have been reconstructed in the last 100 years. In fact, when you look at old Tokyo what you’re really looking at is a carefully reconstructed 20th century replica of itself.

The magnificent Osaka Castle is a prime example. Originally built in 1570, destroyed by war, rebuilt in 1583, destroyed again in battle in 1615 and rebuilt in the 1620’s. In 1665 the main tower was struck by lightning and burnt down. Repeat a few times until 1931, when whoever was paying for all the rebuilds must’ve had a eureka moment – use stone! It has subsequently survived nearly 100 years with the added benefit of decent wiring and plumbing, a lift and Japanese toilets!

Views of Osaka castle

Few people realise that the one-man-band originated in Japan, as did the didgeridoo.

We visited the castle on this completely ridiculous train.

Ridiculous not, as you’re assuming, because it looks like it’s for kids which, weirdly it isn’t, but because it was entirely suspension-less.

I was looking at my phone, clinging on to the train armrest for dear life with my teeth being smashed together in my mouth. I assumed the driver was being a lunatic but, when I looked up, we were travelling at less than walking pace. Old ladies were overtaking us! No idea why.

I think this is one of the teleportation devices they use to transport luggage around the country.

Need the toilet? Got a small child? Don’t know how to manage? Simple, just slot him or her into the baby holster..,,

Osaka is known Japan’s kitchen and famous for some of the best street food in the world so tonight we’re doing a guided fooodie tour…

It’s going to be a late finish so, as they say in the movies….

To be continued……..

18:50 – 15th May – Osaka

Day 9 – Hiroshima and Miyajima

Posted on by Andrew Tillman

Hotel pet hates # 1

One of my pet hates when travelling, is being in a hotel room, several floors up, with aircon and you have no idea what it feels like outside. You can’t open the windows because hotels assume all their occupants are suicidal so they seal them up and so you don’t know whether to wear shorts or jeans, sweater or no sweater?

To solve this problem I have invented the ‘Wole’ (Weather hole) which hotels will be able to fit to their exterior hotel walls. You will then be able to stick your arm or leg through the Wole to judge the exterior conditions so that you can decide what to wear. When closed, it seals perfectly so the aircon still works.

I’ll be starting a crowdfunding site shortly, please give generously. The first 50 subscribers will receive a discounted Home-Wole*

*All rights reserved – Patent pending – Registered trade Mark.

We had a very early start to meet the taxi at 7.15 today so no opportunity to slip a black egg into Brigitte’s breakfast.

As the taxi left the hotel our two receptionist bowed up and down furiously, though slightly out of synch. I think of it as waving your guests off, but with your entire upper body rather than just your hand. I suppose it’s also a good core workout for them so tourists are contributing to Japanese overall fitness, which is a good thing.

I realise Japanese bullet trains are old technology now, having been around almost 60 years, but they are still fifty years ahead of anything we have in the UK. They arrive on time and leave on time. Always. To the second. They are spotlessly clean, comfortable, inexpensive and have fully reclining, heated seats! A 200-mile journey takes a lotyle over an hour for a fare of £64 – first class.

Similar high speed trains run in France, Spain, Germany and Italy to name but a few.

In comparison, Leeds to London in the UK, a similar journey, takes almost two and a half hours and costs over £300 if you’re a tourist and don’t know how the crazy ticket pricing works. That’s when the trains are actually running. Hmm.

Something you would never see on a British train. Look carefully as the rear windows go by…

The train guard always leans out of the windows and salutes the passengers out of respect as the train leaves the station.

Brigitte seemed excited when she came out of the bathroom at Hiroshima station. In fact I’ve rarely seen her so excited on exiting a toilet. It transpired that she has found an exciting new toilet feature previously unwitnessed. It’s genius and I’m quite jealous not to have discovered it myself….

It’s effectively a silencer for a toilet. How good is that? Loud bottoms fear no more!!

Before we started our tour we went for a quick coffee where we encountered the worlds smallest milk jug….,

In order to avoid the crowds we planned this trip to miss Japan’s ‘golden week’ which is the end of cherry blossom and the Japanese holidays.

What I didn’t plan for was the impact of Japan having only properly re-opened to post pandemic tourism in March, hence the huge number of tourists we are seeing.

To make matters worse, they decided to hold the G7 summit in Hiroshima next week and much of Hiroshima and Miyajima will be closed. At the moment, everywhere is full of groups of police. (Although they are polite and bow as you walk past them. I think that they should replace the ‘C’ in Police, on their bullet proof vests with a’T’).

Areas are being cordoned off, re-painted and swept by the various secret services so that Joe Biden, and six leaders of previously important nations can have a quick junket here. Or maybe I’m just naturally cynical?

It’s the reason for us having to do Hiroshima and Miyajima in one day.

Our tour guide today is called Kunika and she took us straight to ground zero.

What happened here on August 6th 1945 is unimaginable. At 08:14 everything was normal. At 08:16 everything was gone. People, animals, trees, buildings. Everything. Gone.

Just a few buildings partially survived as they happened to get lucky in terms of airflow and being shielded from the 3,000 degree heat but, mostly, everything was blasted or incinerated.

There are many memorials and the Peace Memorial Museum is dedicated to remembering what happened here, to try and ensure it never happens again. It’s redolent of visiting a European Holocaust museum, extremely emotional and overwhelming at times. You have to keep pausing and taking deep breaths to comprehend the enormity and horror of what actually happened here.

Hiroshima is now a city dedicated to peace and the abolition of nuclear weapons. We all hope their wish comed true but unfortunately I have my doubts.

In my opinion it should be compulsory for every politician in the world to come here, understand the story, and see the consequences of a nuclear detonation in a populated area before they are allowed to take office. They should also be made aware that modern Hydrogen bombs are one thousand times more powerful than the one that decimated Hiroshima! I’ll get off my soapbox now, sorry.

I won’t go into the events or the history here, it’s easy to read about what happened but if you don’t know the details do go read up on it.

The bomb dome, or peace memorial is one of the few buildings that was partially left standing. It’s skeletal remains are now a monument to the event and a Unesco world heritage site.

After visiting Hiroshima’s memorials and museums, we took a ferry to Miyajima who’s name means Shrine Island. (Hiro-shima means big island) Jima and shima both mean island, they just translate into English slightly differently).

Miyajima is home to the world famous Itsukushima Shinto Shrine, another Unesco world heritage site.

It is best known for its floating Torii gate. Made of camphor wood it is 16 meters high and 24 meters across and it is not anchored or sunk into the ground. The top section is filled with rocks to give it weight so it just sits there.

The whole area is considered holy so the shrine is built on the beach so as not to disturb holy ground.

As the boat to the island docked we found ourselves in a strange combination of shops, tourism, holy shrines and tame deer wandering around being petted.

By then it was time for lunch

Hiroshima is famous for its oysters but also for its pancakes called Okonomiyaki meaning ‘Anything you want -cooked’. I think I’ve done this but ‘Yaki’ means cooked. (Often grilled on open flame but not always). Teppan (metal plate) yaki , Teri (with glazed sauce) yaki etc

After the war, with Hiroshima devastated, little remained and there were few places or means to cook. This was a naval and military city so there was a lot of metal around which could be heated up and the government provided wheat flour so that the people didn’t starve and so they created new foods, with a flour base, cooked on hot metal plates, one of which became Okonomiyaki.

It is made up of many layers, like this.,,

First make a round flour crepe for the base, then layer cabbage, beansprouts, meat, noodles, seaweed, crack an egg into an omlette for the lid, flip everything upside down onto the omelette, flip again, serve when cooked. There, you can make your own and add ‘anything you want’.

If you get it right you end up with this…

Delicious.

Next it was a short walk to the Toyokuni Shrine Pagoda dating from 1407

Before visiting the actual Itsukushima shrine…

The shrine and its torii gate are unique for being built over water, seemingly floating in the sea during high tide. The shrine consists of multiple buildings, including a prayer hall, main hall and stage, which are connected by boardwalks and supported by pillars above the sea.

It’s a very intricate structure and is designed to withstand high tides that often submerged it and typhoons that threaten to blow it away.

The last picture is of the barrels of Sake donated by all the Sake breweries. Apparently the Gods love Sake. It’s good advertising for the breweries – and the priests get to drink it all!

The mountain on the island is called Mount Misen and it has been worshipped by the locals since the sixth century.

We had to get to the top of course, just because it was there. To do that requires two ropeways (cable cars)- it’s like deja-vu isn’t it?

The tour guide said that It was a one-minute easy walk to the Ropeway. It seems that her English leaves something desired as far as her concept of time is concerned as, fifteen minutes later, after a steep uphill trek, we finally arrived, drenched with sweat (24 degrees today).

It was well worth it as the views were spectacular from the summit..

Then it was the whole journey in reverse…dum-de-dum-de-dum….. until we were back at Hiroshima station where we just had to sample the local oysters. Not bad but not great to be honest but then it’s right at the end of the season (no ‘r’ in the month) so it’s our own fault.

A three-hour journey back to our hotel in Kyoto concluded our long day. 17,231 steps today, 13.25km walked, a new record. For us, anyway.

Tomorrow it’s Osaka!

21:50 – 14th May – Kyoto

Day 8 -Kyoto

Posted on by Andrew Tillman

Breakfast still came with meat, but no fish. The bread, yogurt and quiche were very nice though and just enough.

Unfortunately there was no opportunity to slip in a black egg for Brigitte. She really doesn’t want to eat it🤢

It’s a bit like trying to get a child to take it’s medicine. I can’t ever bribe her with sweets as she doesn’t eat them.

I wasn’t feeling 100% myself this morning so I decided to take the plunge and eat an egg to top me up for another seven years. I’d have kicked myself if today was my day to leave this world and I left with an unused seven-year eggy extension in my bag.

I tentatively peeled it not knowing what to expect. Would it be black inside as well? Would it stink of sulphur? Would a small but perfectly formed Japanese dragon burst from the shell, bow respectfully and politely ask how I would like my egg cooking?

I gently peeled back the ebony shell. Piece by piece the small calcified shards fell away to reveal…

…an egg. Just an ordinary egg. So disappointing 😩, yet so edible for breakfast.

I’m not sure if I should eat another one straight away to gain 14 years? Maybe they work in series rather than in parallel? It’s only now that I’m regretting all the questions that I should have asked at the point of sale.

It was an early start today to get to the bamboo forest in order to we miss the crowds

Unfortunately we got the wrong train, had to detour and, of course, hit the crowds.

Everywhere we have been has been extremely crowded which may not be obvious from the photos. Of course, there’s nothing we can do about it. Everywhere is just so popular, but it must’ve been an even more amazing experience before all us tourists arrived.

We finally arrived at the the bamboo forest which is a forest made entirely from……..well, you’ve guessed it already haven’t you?

It’s a strange sight as the bamboo has no foliage until 10 metres up so it’s like looking through wooden stakes which I suppose it is. Bamboo is a major produce and raw material here and so many things you see here are made of raw bamboo. Gates, fences, it’s so versatile they even use it instead of wood to make their forest. So clever 🤷🏽‍♂️

It’s also the fastest-growing plant on the planet, up to 80cm per day – that’s 150mm per hour so you can sit and watch it growing!!

While we were in the forest we visited the Tenru ji Temple. We’ve been here a week and I have no adjectives or superlatives left to describe the beauty of the things we see here every day. The whole country is just aesthetically pleasing. Here’s some pix of the temple and its gardens.

Koi traffic jam, total gridlock!

Here’s a random cute dog picture for those who like that sort of thing.

We then took a trip across town to have lunch in Nishiki market. Again, just incredible (and strange) food displays..

Although the Japanese invented Jenga they keep the more complex variations for their home market.

We had street food in the market for lunch then stopped at a dumpling bar for main course. The only reason I’m mentioning it was to show you their toilet…

It has mood lighting!!

More things you only find in Japan…

Cucumber on a stick!

Then it was on to the Samurai and Ninja museum where we learned the history of the Samurai and Ninjas, saw some ancient armour and weapons, and became fully trained in the use of Ninja throwing stars and Katana (Samurai swords)

On the way out we needed to use the bathroom so in we went, only to find a toilet with a built-in sink on top of the cistern.

This place is ridiculous!

And just when I’d convinced myself it just couldn’t get any more ridiculous, we came across this….

Micro pig cafe

Then it was a zigzag across town to see the Golden pavilion, a giant pavilion which is….golden – of course.

It’s a stunning building in equally stunning grounds. It is adorned with 400kg of gold leaf. If only they’d planned ahead and bought 600kg they could have covered the whole thing but hindsight is always a wonderful thing.

I think Brigitte and I have probably reached peak temple.

After the pavilion we zag-zigged to the the Camelia house where we were instructed by Norie in the art of the Japanese tea ceremony. A Zen tradition in Japan dating back hundreds of years. The ceremony is an hour long and it takes 15 minutes just to brew the tea, as her intricate ceremonies dictate so many movements and nuances. For example, each tea bowl has a side where the painted pattern is especially ornate and this is to be placed facing you so you enjoy its beauty. Before you drink, however, you rotate the bowl two quarter turns anticlockwise, so as not to dirty the ornate side of the cup. Once you finish the tea, you rotate it back two quarter turns clockwise and enjoy the beauty of the craftsman’s work again.

There’s so many rituals involved that Norie has been learning thee ceremony for 20 years and is still perfecting it.

To be fair, I still have trouble with some teabags.

Toilet talk…

Last night at the restaurant we met a family of clean-bottomed Americans. I say this because we soon got talking about Japanese toilets and they were not only extremely well-versed in all aspects of Nippon toilet-tech, but it turned out that they had them installed throughout their home in California.

Even more exciting is the fact that we learned that you don’t have to change your whole toilet, it’s just the seat, and they are readily available. I’m sure that many of you, having been following this blog, will be desperate for your own, so that you too can have bottoms as clean as ours.

Well, now you can, no more spotless bottom envy, just go to Amazon and search for ‘Toto Washlet toilet’. It will definitely be my first purchase when we get home. We’re here for another week so you could have yours before we even get back!

Must remember # 3.

Never pass food between one persons chopsticks to anothers. It is a huge no-no. It’s possibly the worst transgression you can do when using chopsticks in Japan.

At Japanese funerals, the deceased person’s bones are passed between people with chopsticks. When you pass food between chopsticks, it reminds people of this.  

Very early morning start tomorrow as we head off for a long day in Hiroshima.

21:25 – 13th May – Kyoto

Ninja coming to get you!