“Man who spends half a day in fish market will smell like a tuna for a week”. – Ancient Japanese proverb. Well, not really, but it should be.

This morning we left the hustle and bustle of Tokyo for Hakone via the bullet train.

Instead of shlepping heavy suitcases around, Japan has a system for travellers where you leave your cases behind and for a small fee they are automagically transported to your next destination. As we are spending only two days in Hakone we have had them teleported to Kyoto, our next stop. Fingers crossed.

It should be easier now that we are out of Tokyo; and Japan is full of helpful local maps dotted around making it obvious where to go …

Navigation is still a challenge. The huge combination of underground (Metro) overground (JR) and bullet (Shinkansen) trains all go from substations within stations so first you need to find the correct station, then the correct station within the main station, all done by following the name of the line you require then the number of the station which has to be in the right coloured circle. It doesn’t sound too difficult but the sheer number of combinations and locations is very confusing and then you have to find the English names amongst the Japanese signs.

Hakone National Park is an area in mountainous countryside famous for its hot sulphur springs and Onsen, which are hot spring baths, often communal where no clothes, or tattoos, are allowed. I’m now grateful to my late father who stopped me when I wanted to tattoo “Leeds United Forever” on my left buttock. Actually, the way they are playing now, I’m grateful for more reasons than just being able to now bathe with naked men in an Onsen.

Hakone is just south of Mount Fuji and is an outdoorsy area full of walkers, hikers and people just relaxing and enjoying the hot springs.

We are staying at a Ryoken, which is a traditional Japanese inn set in beautiful gardens. We arrived well before check-in time so we dumped our rucksacks and, once again, and probably inadvisably when you consider my rubbish sense of direction, armed with only map and no local knowledge, set out to explore Hakone, which is only 1,277 square Kilometres (500 sq.mi.) so no chance of not getting lost.

We took the cable car at Togendai to go and explore the National park. To add to our transportation confusion the Japanese call what we call a Funicular a Cable Car and what we call a Cable Car, they call a Ropeway.

As the Ropeway (Cablecar) rose into the mountain we had the spectacular sight of Mount Fuji suddenly coming into view. It’s unusual to see it but it was a lovely clear day and it’s quite a sight.

Our first stop was Owakudani, which translates to ‘Immense simmering valley’ formed by the last volcanic eruption 3,000 years ago. It was originally known as ‘Hell Valley’ due to the sulphuric gas venting from fissures in the ground. It’s still active, hence the sulphur gas.

It’s famous for its black eggs, boiled in the sulphur springs. According to the locals, eating just one egg adds seven years to your life. We bought four so that’s two eggs and fourteen years each! Not eaten them yet, but I’ll let you know when we try them. Please make a note in your diaries to check if we’re still here in May 2037. If not, please call trading standards and don’t buy any black eggs – they don’t work!

From Owakudani we took another Ropeway (Cablecar), then a Cablecar (Funicular), then a Train (Train) and arrived at Hakkne Open Air Museum which is a sculpture park. I have no idea why or how they did it, but the scope of the work here is breathtaking. At least six Henry Moores, a pair of Barbera Hepworths, a Rodin, a Picasso gallery, and hundreds more sculptures – over 2,000 large works of art in all, nearly 2,000 feet above sea-level, up a mountain in the middle of Japan. Absolutely incredible and very well executed in amazing surroundings. For those of you who live near me, it’s like the Yorkshire Sculpture Park on steroids!

We did the entire journey in reverse to get back. The final leg was by bus and the driver was very keen to see all of our tickets as we got on. As we left the bus half a dozen stops later he wouldn’t let us off without seeing our tickets again! Why? Maybe there’s a problem with them expiring halfway through journeys here?

We then checked into our Ryoken… you MUST watch this video!

This is exactly what we’d been hoping to see in Japan and it’s really fantastic to be here and experience it. Half an hour after checking in and putting on our Yukata, which is a traditional dressing gown like a less elaborate kimono, our maid? Geisha? Not sure what to call her, came in with dinner.

We sat at the table seen in the video, not good for the knees and then we were served a traditional Ryoken feast…..

The food was getting stranger and stranger, then this came out and even Brigitte, who eats anything, remarked that it was getting a bit ‘I’m a celebrity get me out of here!’

We tried it, but just couldn’t.

Our serving lady (I’ve decided to call her David, as in Bowie, because she never stops bowing to us!) is coming in a few moments to make our bed, which is a futon on the floor. On the bright side, we won’t break our hips if we fall out!

And so to bed …. ANOTHER MUST WATCH VIDEO!

Nite nite. Sorry, no tower to see tonight.

20:13 -9th May – Hakone